As for knowing what they want in life, Narcissists have no idea. Their dreams are always fantasies, some vague plan based on winning the lottery, marrying a billionaire, becoming a popular YouTuber, a famous singer, a movie star or winning it all in Las Vegas.
The secret to the universe (apologies to Douglas Adams) is based on three things: One, you are going to be happy if you know who you are. Two, if you know what you want in life and three, you do no harm to other people.
Very few narcissists ever achieve these dreams, instead they spend hours on the sofa playing video games, watching porn and eating junk food. They talk about starting an exercise program, going back to college, going to rehab or starting therapy to deal with their issues.
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Can you imagine living your life pretending to be someone you aren't?
3 Secrets The Narcissist Doesn’t Want You To Know.
Narcissists can never be happy. They don't understand the importance of living an authentic life and they never will.
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How Narcissists React When They Think You’re Too Strong.
Narcissists are careful to be whatever you want them to be. From the minute you met them, they are the most charming, attentive, kind, heroic, loyal and lovable person you have ever known.
I liken that kind of life to bribing a small child with the promise of a new toy. Then dressing the kid to perfection and forcing them to sit still for two hours at a place they don't want to be.
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Unfortunately, these plans never happen. They stay on that sofa, talking about what color their Lamborghini is going to be, how many rooms their dream house will have and which celebrity they are going to sleep with.
3 Facial Clues That Expose a Narcissist.
Narcissists have no idea who they are because they have worn a mask their whole life. They KNOW there is something wrong with them, something so bad they have to hide it, so they construct a “false self “ which they present to the public.
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They convince you that they have honor, telling you how a sick friend asked them to make a $750 bank deposit for them but they were mugged and the money taken. Of course, the narcissist put their own money in the friend's account.
They tell you how loyal they are, having given up someone special because their best friend was in love with the same man or woman and they could never betray a friend.
They flash devastating smiles, flirt with people who are usually ignored, talk to those who believe themselves to be uninteresting, compliment those with insecurities.
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Narcissists have many secrets. And they hide them from everyone. No one gets to see their real self, especially in the beginning. If you are involved with one, you will eventually get glimpses at what lies beneath the mask but you won't believe it.
As for doing no harm to others, that is a concept a narcissist can never grasp. People, all people, in their lives are there for only one purpose: to fulfill the narcissist's needs. This leaves a wake of destruction in their paths.
I say NO. Narcissists are living a lie, so how could they ever be happy?
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They shower people with kindness, holding doors open for everyone, sprinting across a parking lot to help an old lady load her groceries. They love animals, always making a show of petting them. They pretend to adore children, always playing with them.
Someone commented that in a photo of my ex narcissist, he didn't look so evil. A friend laughed and replied that if narcissists showed their monster side, no one would ever get in bed with them.
8 Things Narcissists Don’t Get Over.
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11 Things to Never Do With a Narcissist.
They tell you stories about their heroism, whether it's about saving a cat or taking care of their elderly grandparents.
In short, narcissists can read people. They quickly assess what you want or need in your life and like a chameleon, that is who they will become. But it isn't who they are and it never will be.
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The child can survive it, but immediately afterwards, they run outside and get as dirty as they can, rip their clothes and take out their aggressions on whoever crosses their path. That basically sums up why a narcissist behaves like they do. They have the emotional mentality of a child.
10 Weird Social Behaviors of Those Affected by Narcissistic Abuse.
Read More From Quora:
Hi everybody! I have been looking at posts on narcs and narc abuse on here and if has really helped me out a lot. I am currently struggling with my situation and need some advice/support.
I met a narc last year, everything seemed to good to be true. Love bombing, always texting calling and taking me on dates. Everything changed when someone warned me about him out in public in front of him and who he is. This caused a conflict with us and the love bombing seized.
he would tell me that everything is okay and i can come and talk. He would set a time limit on me and kick me out after that.
he would then text me like everything was fine and we hung out again and after that he completely ghosted me for one week. He came back and texted me a week later laughing about the ghosting and acting like nothing had happened.
he continued to text me ( not like in the beginning) make plans with me, then on the day of the plans he would just ghost me. One day he would act interested the next silence.
i contacted him a month later and he acted like nothing happened. He was on a vacation and sent me a picture of another woman ( someone he allegedly met on the trip) to strike a reaction but i never gave him one. After the trip he came to my place and was extremely rude, accusing me of going on dates with a bunch of men. The next day he accused me of being an alcoholic and that he wanted nothing to do with me but said well maybe we can be "friends" then ghosted me
i assumed at this point it was over and i would never hear from him again. He contacted me on the holiday a month later acting like everything was great. We ended up hanging out a month or so later and when we hung out it went well, i thought things were going in the right direction.
after we hung out.. silence. I would try to text him and if he replied it would be very short then he just stopped replying. He ghosted me for almost three months. I thought he was done this time and of course he popped up again like nothing happened. At this point i was getting sick of if so i questioned him as to why he dissapeared and always does this. Of course he had some sob story about a injury and family member dying of cancer. I felt pity for him and he gave me an apology.. so i took him back stupidly.
things seemed to be going smooth for a couple months, of course until his family member died and his injury got better he never contacted me and was distant. Menawhile, i was there for him during the difficult time for him. He lied to me about the funeral and never wanted to chat. I was chasing him and he would always claim nothing was wrong but when i said i thought he used me when he was down he could not handle it and would always tell me he didnt care and to go away. I would get so upset i would try texting him to work it out he would barelt respond and if he did he would not be nice about it.
we did hang out a couple times after that, he would ignore me after. One day i was like hey i think you are seeing someone else, and i was like well ixam seeing someone so no problem if you are he said " buy bye good luck with your new guy stop contacting me" i was devastated and tried to get into contact with him for weeks then i just gave up and accepted it was over. He ended up contacting me a month later acting like everything was fine. He wanted to go out and have drinks i told him i would. He and i both seemed to have a great time. He ends up ignoring me again. I kept texting him trying to figure out what was wrong. He kept saying everything was fine and i said ok can we hang out again? He said maybe i was like why? He just kept saying maybe …
our last conversation we had… i said what is wrong ? He said nothing is wrong everything is fine. I asked him why he keeps saying maybe. He said " maybe but i dont want to see you right now" i said why? He saix " im just not feeling it, if i wanted to date i would" i said why did you contact me less then a week ago wanting to go out? He said i didnt.. even though he did. So i said should i just move on or what? He said whatever you want to do. So i said that he was really confusing me and asked him if he had anything more to say before i move on? My messages were turning green so i panicked he blocked me and reacted irrationally. I said " omg did you block me? My messages are not going through. Even texted him on my work phone asking what was up. And called him twice ( please dont judge me i know it is pathetic i never was this type of girl before him) so he replied and said " Ok I'll block you now" then immedietly blocked me. He has never blocked me before since I have met him he will just ghost. Is this ths final discard aka " grand finale? Did i just push him too far?
this has upset me so much its hard to even function.
